A lot of questions have been coming up lately. Such as:

What lines from Alan Alda, as “Hawkeye” Pierce on TV’s M.A.S.H., uttered to Loretta Swit as “Hot Lips” Houlihan, best resemble the nuanced flirtations and icy rebuttals that are often bandied between Russia and the United States?


Is it true that our president habitually spends security briefings from NSA watching Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball video on YouTube, even though he’s watched it over three dozens times, and currently is responsible for over 80 percent of the posts in Comments, most of which simply say things like: I told Brett Kavanaugh I’d wreck her, or I’d like my face to be that wrecking ball!


Using the alphanumeric schema in which a = 1, b = 2, c = 3, and so on, which sequence of five letters from the Bill of Rights (comprising of whole or partial words, or any combination thereof), represents a sum that is closest to the number of rounds fired by Louisville, KY, police officer Kenneth Walker, into Briana Taylor’s apartment? Which sequence represents the quantity of rounds that were actually necessary to be fired?

Can these things be determined? Who will determine them? These are the questions sprouting all around us like mung beans left on a damp sponge.

Footnote: “Rounds” is a euphemism for bullets, just as “troops” is a euphemism for human soldiers. These two facts in particular—much more so than in years past—I find myself pestered by. Who popularized, or normalized, these euphemisms, part of me wishes badly to know.

Whether these things can be legitimately established and made widely known is a matter that I find myself discussing while I sit in the guest chair under the hot lights, before the video cameras on the set of an imaginary show. I wonder about them as I drive my car, as I fold my laundry, as I spread guacamole over a slice of bread and lay a slice of deli turkey down like a bedsheet.

I feel surrounded by great uncertainty, but to say I’m plagued is either impolitic or over-stating the case.

Sure, some cases require over-statement—they warrant over-statement. But before that can happen, they need to be stated in the first place.

I thank the people out there stating them.

In the meantime, the questions persist, and the story goes on.